Some Changes are a Brewin’

It has been quite awhile since I have come on here to write to you and in the last few months, I have undergone some big changes. And with those new changes, they have led me to redirect my focus and have a better understanding of my calling.

If you follow me on IG at @selfcarephysio, you may have heard that this past March, I had a miscarriage. This will be my 3rd miscarriage out of the 4 pregnancies I have had. All three miscarriages have been very different physically but all gut wrenching emotionally.

As I processed my most recent pregnancy loss, it led me to ask lots of questions. Since my first pregnancy and loss in 2012 to now in 2021, not much has changed in how we react, respond or support those with pregnancy losses. It is essentially being handed a pamphlet on loss and grieving and then sent home. Nothing about how to recover physically, nothing about the different choices (expected management, D&C or medication) and what they could all mean or how they could affect you, nothing about preparing for a miscarriage, especially if chosen to have one at home.

I have learned now that what I experienced in 2012 was a direct cause of the pelvic pain that I have been dealing with on and off in the last few years. There are many questions that I hope to continue to ask and even more so, have answers for these questions to help guide and support others who have experienced pregnancy loss.

"So, what does this have to do with me?"

Well, I share all of this with you because most likely you may have experienced a pregnancy loss yourself and may have felt lost, felt shame or isolated. It may have happened years ago, and you may still be triggered and not have fully processed it (physically or emotionally). Maybe you know someone (family member, friend, coworker) who has experienced a loss. It is very easy to just assume that the person has moved on or to not bring it up. The thing is, it needs to be talked about, more often, more frequently and with less shame and fear around this topic. Those who have experienced a loss need to be able to be physically held, to have their womb cared for and to be heard.

I know that this work needs to be done and I am not sure how it will manifest or look like, but I know it is something that I strongly feel called to do.

Next steps...

My intentions are to return to blogging, educating on IG and sending out monthly newsletters with updates and educational pieces around pelvic health, miscarriages, fertility and the work I seek to do to integrate them all.

If you have read this far, I really appreciate your presence and welcome you to lend your voice. If you feel that most of this has no relevance to you, you are welcome to unsubscribe, but I ask you to think about someone you know in your personal life who has miscarried and what type of support, if any, that they received. I ask if you can forward this newsletter on to someone you know who may have had a pregnancy loss so that they know that a platform/community is in the process of being built to break down the walls, the stigma and shame around miscarriages and bringing self-care into the process. A way forward is being built on how we can improve our pelvic health, emotional health and overall health by addressing the pains around miscarriage and maybe even feel more prepared and less overwhelmed when it does happen.

I get it. This is not an easy or fun topic to discuss. No one wants to think about the "what ifs" or the terrible sh*t that could happen, and grief is heavy, but almost 1 in 5 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. We need to speak up on this and I hope that you will help me in doing so.